


Total Dork

by drachoemaloy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: I just wanted everyone to love tony, I'm Giving No Background Info, M/M, Rated teen for swearing, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 23:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17838449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drachoemaloy/pseuds/drachoemaloy
Summary: Tony is done with the newest baddie on the street™ and gives them a list of people who could fuck them up.





	Total Dork

**Author's Note:**

> This is so stupid. I just wanted something where everyone was happy and they all loved Tony and Tony loved everyone.
> 
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*
> 
> Update 30/5/19 just to separate Tony's speech so it's a bit clearer.

“You do realise I know literal Gods.” Tony held his gauntlet a little higher.

“I’m also best friends with two trained assassins.” Maybe he enjoyed the surprised look on Clint’s and Nat’s face a little too much.

“Not only that, but I work with the world's most renowned scientist, who can sometimes be a bit over-protective.” Bruce smiled shyly at the floor.

“My brother is a Colonel and has quite a bit of power.” “Ain’t that right.” Tony heard Rhodey mutter through the comms.

“My business is run by a woman who could ruin you in a second with the amount of influence she has.” Tony didn’t need to see Pepper to know that she would have a disapproving but modest look. 

“Or would you prefer to be ruined but a few S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. I know a few that would do the job.” Tony heard his surname be acknowledged through the comms by his favourite Agent: Son of Coul. 

“And I’m currently in a budding relationship with two super soldiers” He didn’t look for their reaction. 

“Although... I feel like I’m forgetting something. Ah yes, that's right. I’m a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. Pick whatever one and I can still destroy you.” He whirled his reactor getting ready to fire. “So, which will it be?” 

“I know when I'm beaten.” Said the newest baddie on the street™ and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“Well, the ending was a bit of a disappointment but was that as cool as I thought or did I look like a total dork?” Tony turned to face the group.

“Did you just say we’re your best friends?”

“I’m not the most renowned...”

“Goddamn it, Tony!”

“Nicely done Stark.”

“What the fuck do you mean ‘budding’?”

Tony would have sighed and laughed at the whole situation had Bucky not said what he just did. He turned to face the soldiers ignoring everyone else.

“I didn’t get that wrong did I? I mean I’ve been flirting my ass off with you guys and we’ve been on a few dates - or well, I think they were dates.” Tony suddenly felt really hot despite him only being in a shirt and his boxers (yeah... long story).

“No, Tony, we thought we were past budding.” Steve quickly glanced at Bucky who seemed to realise what he said had come out wrong.

“Yeah, Doll, what Stevie said.” Bucky shrugged.

“Oh.” To say Tony was relieved would have been an understatement. He was ecstatic they’d finally said out loud what they were. “Yeah, I’m cool with that.”

“Shame.” Bucky pretended to sigh, “Would have prefered a total dork.”

“We can have both.” Steve grinned and they both drifted towards him.


End file.
